Church community lifts up family during good and bad times

By Andrea Gibbs

“We should never forget the two axioms: ‘Jesus is with me’
and whatever happens, happens
by the will of God.”
– Blessed Charles de Foucauld

Just six months into their marriage, newlyweds Rebecca and Greg Fix faced a laundry list of changes headed their way. The Fixes found out they were pregnant at the same time Greg had accepted a new job offer. One month later, the young couple made the move from Minnesota to South Dakota, trusting God’s plan for their future.

In a new town, with a new baby and no family support nearby, Rebecca and Greg leaned heavily on their new parish community, St. Benedict Parish in Yankton, as a support system. Rebecca decided to step away from her career to stay home with their son Ezra. When Ezra was 2, the Fixes had a daughter, Chiara. Christiana arrived 18 months after that. They had Matthias three years after Christiana, then Adelaide, and now Lucas has joined the family. Rebecca and Greg agree that those first years of marriage allowed them to grow as a couple and individually in their faith journeys.

Their daughter Adelaide was born on May 27, 2022, with Trisomy 18. She passed away just seven days after she was born. 

“Navigating this loss has been difficult,” Rebecca said. “[Grief] is something that never really goes away, but changes as time goes on as we receive God’s love. Greg and I have done separate healing and healing together.” 

Greg added that they are thankful for the time they had with Adelaide and grateful for the five children they have on earth. “Knowing Adelaide is exceptionally happier in heaven, and we can see her again, gives tremendous consolation,” he said.

A key part of healing for both Rebecca and Greg has been the three-day silent retreats at Broom Tree Retreat and Conference Center. Through this retreat ministry, they have been able to take time to sit with God and patiently wait as he reveals his love and healing. 

Community has also played a key role in the couple’s healing and parenting journey. “Community has been essential to our marriage and parenthood,” Rebecca said. Living so far away from family, they fully realized the concept of “it takes a village to raise a family.” She went on to add, “Our church community supports us by being a listening ear, praying for us, providing meals and reinforcing our marriage and parenthood.”

Looking back at their dating time together in Duluth, Minnesota, and the 12 years of marriage that have followed, the Fixes encourage other engaged couples to keep God at the center of the relationship. In addition, they suggest leaning into the examples and life stories of Catholics who have gone before us in faith as a wonderful way for young couples to draw closer together and grow spiritually as they begin their married life together. Rebecca and Greg have been able to rely on the example and prayer intercession of Sts. Zelie and Louis Martin. 

With a busy household of young children at home, Rebecca and Greg continue to learn and grow in their Catholic faith. They agree that their faith has been the foundation of their marriage and family life. Rebecca says they try to incorporate liturgical living into family life, which has made a huge difference. 

As we approach Lent, it is the perfect time for families to slow down their busy schedule and refocus on their faith journey. Many families choose to add a small focus area in the home, such as a crucifix, purple cloth, or images of the stations of the cross. Rebecca says they have a Lenten tradition of making a paper chain as a way to countdown the days to Easter. Each paper ring has a Scripture verse to read as they reflect on Christ’s life. She knows making Christ known within the walls of the home is the greatest gift they can give their children and each other.

Greg knows the importance of trusting in God’s providence in married life, saying, “Sometimes you don’t see God’s plan for your life in the next step you take. While we initially moved for a career, we encountered Broom Tree Retreat Center and a faith community that has deepened our love for Jesus. If God is calling you to something more in that next step, don’t be afraid to take it!” 

Greg and Rebecca are grateful God called them to their new home in Yankton. They recognize that their faith has grown as they encounter such open fellowship at St. Benedict’s Parish. As Catholics, we should all strive to create a warm community in our home parish to welcome new members, to provide space to grow in holiness together, and to serve our greater communities.