AdobeStock_107821046_By-alexbrylovhk
By Heidi Comes
Person to person. Face to face. Heart to heart.
If you felt a slight cringe in your body even reading that, you are not alone. Chances are, you are part of the population that has grown up with a device in your pocket (at best) but more likely in your hand most of your waking hours. This kind of up-close and personal is challenging for many of us, but never more so than it is for young people.
We have wandered far away from the person-to-person relationship of days past. It’s tough to find the “sit around a kitchen table with coffee and pie while catching up on family and community” kind of people. Instead, we communicate in short messages containing acronyms for expressions we don’t use but type out in response (iykyk) before moving on to the next “follower.” Interacting with “thumbs up” or “likes” instead of conversations.
Fear of the unknown
Most teenagers don’t know what it means to have a one-on-one conversation where neither person is on a phone scrolling through Snapchat stories or Instagram reels while also “talking” with their very best friend who is in the room with them. It is often dismissed as multitasking and the youthful ability to do more than one thing at a time. But the truth is, person-to-person, face-to-face and heart-to-heart communication is scary.
This kind of intimacy asks so much of us. We have to not only be comfortable with ourselves, but we have to be comfortable enough with another person to let them see us. Other humans can injure us. Allowing another into our personal space can result in judgments, gossip and rejection. It’s a big task to convince a teenager that people will be kind when they see quite the opposite displayed by adults all too often.
If only there was someone we could practice this with whom we trusted completely. One who knew us so well that nothing we said, thought or did would scare them. We could share our deepest desires without fear of judgment.
Heart to heart and face to face with Jesus
Parents are called to be examples of the Father’s love for their children, but they are far from perfect. Many young people have very healthy relationships with their moms and dads but still would die a thousand deaths before opening up the dark recesses of their hearts in conversation with one of them. Many other young people do not have strong parental relationships, so where do they go?
The truth is, there isn’t a single person on the earth who can love you the way Jesus does, no one who desires a more personal relationship with you, and no one who will take you as you are, flawed and imperfect, and love you unconditionally. So, let’s practice the art of one-on-one conversation with him.
Step one: Person to person and face to face
Bring yourself into an adoration chapel. Bring only yourself—no distractions. Kneel or sit in the presence of the One who loves you so deeply that he gave his own life so that yours may be complete. You don’t have to initiate the conversation with Christ. Just showing up to be with him is enough. He will sit with you there in that space and quiet your body, mind and spirit.
The first few minutes may feel awkward and long. You have to let yourself detox from the noise of life. But the longer you sit in silence and stillness, the more you will begin to feel a warmth washing over you, a warmth that is the love of your Father, a love that is always available to you but often drowned out by the distractions of life.
Step two: Heart to heart
The more comfortable you become in this space, the easier it will be to lay your heart out to him. He already knows it all anyway, but being a gentle father, he waits for you to offer it. This can be done by quietly talking to God as a friend or journaling your thoughts and feelings. It can be as simple as thinking of what is in your heart and inviting God into those thoughts.
In this space, you will find the deepest level of intimacy we can have on this side of heaven. A beautiful opportunity to be heart to heart with the Creator of your heart. It may not feel natural initially, but I promise it will never leave you feeling judged, rejected or unloved.
Practice makes nearly perfect
The art of this kind of communication is a skill we can and should cultivate, especially at a time when distractions and digital communication overshadow genuine connection. Jesus’ example of unconditional love encourages us to embrace deeper and more meaningful connections, not only with him, but also with our family and friends, allowing us to be seen, heard and loved for who we truly are. Let’s not shy away from discomfort, for it is in that uncomfortable space that the most beautiful and lasting connections are made.
