By Renae Kranz
As Catholics, we’re not always known for our hospitality. It’s not that we don’t want to be welcoming and talk to new people; we just don’t know how!
I have a theory on this that might explain at least part of why we are this way. Since Catholics can go to any Mass in any church, we might often be thinking, “Oh, I don’t recognize those people. They must be from another parish in town or Catholics from out of town.” And so, we don’t bother welcoming them.
Even if that is true, it’s no excuse for our lack of hospitality. We can do better!
I recently sat down with Laura Bennett for an interview on the podcast “Catholic Views.” Laura is a convert to the Catholic Church and a parishioner at the Cathedral of Saint Joseph. Toward the end of our conversation, we talked about the gift she and her husband have for hospitality. Here’s that conversation (edited for length and clarity):
Renae: You and your husband are quite well known in the Cathedral Parish for your hospitality. Where does this come from and why do you do it?
Laura: Just very basically, we’re passionate about community. This is how we human beings are meant to live. Catholics should be doing this better than anybody, you know, Protestant or non-religious. We should be doing this better than anybody. So when we go to Mass, we’re like bloodhounds. When we look around, we’re thinking, “Who is someone who either is brand new that we’ve never seen before or someone that we’ve noticed multiple times, and they seem to maybe be regular attendees?” And then of course, people leave Mass so fast, you’ve got to beeline for them! You gotta be ready! I definitely have surprised some people, but it’s always turned out beautifully.
Then one of the gifts of being in this neighborhood, and part of why that was so important to us to live close to the cathedral, was that it would enable us to build community more easily. Because sometimes we invite someone on the spot, we say, “Hey, are you available right now? We live two blocks away. We have cookies ready. We’ll brew coffee. Can you come right now?” And some people have taken us up on that invitation who have subsequently become some of our closest friends.
Then other times, we just exchange numbers and then I reach out to them, and when we get something on the calendar, that’s wonderful, too.
Renae: Do you get a typical response when you first greet people?
Laura: Yes. I find it tragic the number of times that I’ve had someone tell me, “You know, I’ve been coming for a year. You’re the first person who’s ever said hi.” Or, “I’ve been coming for five years. I don’t know anybody.” Like, wow! That’s crazy! That should not be happening. It should not be happening.
And so, that’s our personal mission: inviting people over after the 9:15 Mass that we attend specifically, and I don’t know how many times we’ve done that already—two dozen or more.
It was just recently that a woman connected with me and said that she talked to someone after Mass, so that was good. But then she gave my number with the encouragement, “You need to reach out to Laura!” I was so glad! And they’re actually coming over this Sunday night. They’re exploring Catholicism right now.
Renae: What else do you do?
Laura: We’ve started the donut socials at the cathedral as well, which have been successful. It’s just been so beautiful and refreshing because, again, other people want it. It’s not like you’ve got to twist Catholics’ arms and say, “Come on! Let’s have community!” They’re like, “We want this! We just don’t necessarily know how to do it.”
Renae: And we’re not very good at that.
Laura: But anyone can be! It can change.
Renae: It can change, that’s for sure. And people just want to be seen. They need to be seen. So like you said, if you’ve been going for a year and no one has even said “hi” to you, we have to get better at that. So Catholics, let’s go get better at that!
I hope that people really take away from this conversation that you don’t even have to be this super bubbly, outgoing person. Just talk to the people around you, right? And ask them how they’re doing and how their morning is. Start that way. And then the next Sunday, talk to them a little bit more. You don’t have to invite them over to your house immediately.
Laura: No, but you should do it eventually. And your house doesn’t have to be perfectly clean, and you don’t have to bake those cookies yourself. You can use paper plates if you need to. That’s all okay. Let’s just go do it.
To hear the full conversation with Laura about her conversion to the Catholic Church, visit our YouTube page at www.youtube.com/@SFDiocese
