AdobeStock_by Lydia
By Katie Eskro
Christmas is often a child’s favorite time of year. As we age, we may hold onto the specialness and nostalgia of the season, but often it becomes difficult to enjoy the season and enter into Advent and Christmas spiritually while also getting all the things done.
Katie Darling, a parishioner of Sacred Heart Parish in Aberdeen, has five children ages 12 to 6 months. Christmas has always been one of her favorite times of year, and as an adult, she has experienced the effects of trying to do too much during Advent.
“Trying to jam in a ton of ways to prepare during Advent has caused burnout in the past, and then once Christmas does arrive, we are too overloaded to carry on with our Christmas celebrations,” Katie says.
She has found that making sure all of her good and beautiful desires during Advent are oriented toward where she and her family are at in their current stage of life. It’s helpful to try to not do too much or have too high of expectations, which can lead to burnout.
“I try to prioritize the things that are most important, like making time for more intentional prayer with the family, spending time doing our favorite traditions and mostly just being really practical and intentional with my expectations,” Katie says. “I always enter the Advent season with a long list of the things I would love to do, or bake, or give, but to see my time in a way that is led by God always helps to really keep me grounded and focused.”
Practical Advent practices
Over the years, Katie has found Advent practices that help her to keep her orientation toward God, family and the gift of the season. While she does not do all of these every year, they are practical ideas that could be a good starting point for living Advent liturgically.
For Katie, there are two practices she tries to do for herself during Advent. “For me, if I can keep my own cup full and keep all things in right order, it allows the season to be fun and fruitful,” she says.
The first is daily morning prayer. “One of my favorite Advent commitments is to wake up before my family, turn on only the lights of the Christmas tree and read from Scripture,” Katie says. The beauty and quiet is one way she enters into the season and keeps her gaze on Jesus. She also enjoys trying to go to a mini Advent retreat at her local parish.
The second practice Katie has found fruitful to do during Advent is to be involved in a seasonal book or Bible study.
“Finding a good Advent devotion to share with some of my friends on a weekly basis helps me to check-in with myself and with others,” Katie says. “It helps me to gain perspective and to recognize when things might be off balance. Being in community with the people we love is a great way to slow down and sit in the wonder and awe that is the Christmas season.”
Katie also helps her family enter into the season of Advent and waiting for Christmas in anticipation in several ways. She has made her own Advent calendar with a little canvas bag for each day of Advent, and her children open one each day. Inside each small bag is a Scripture verse, an act of kindness and a sweet treat for each child.
Katie also uses the “Mary on the Mantle” doll. A more liturgical play on the popular “Elf on the Shelf,” this small doll represents Mary preparing and waiting for Jesus and is a fun way for children to remember what we’re waiting for. Katie says this tradition is “a great visual representation of all the preparations that must happen to welcome Jesus earth-side and into our hearts.”
In addition to these traditions, Katie has in some years chosen to follow the liturgical year more closely in her decorating and music. Instead of putting up all her decorations at once, she will put up just a few things at a time and incorporate purple for Advent. Some years, she also will wait to listen to Christmas music.
For Katie’s family, each year is a little bit different, and what’s important isn’t doing a lot of activities, but rather helping herself, her husband and her children stay focused on what is most important and making joyful memories together.
The most important Advent practice the Darling family does is to spend time together and prioritize their relationships with each other.
“We do this year-round, but in an intentional way during Advent,” Katie says. “Quieter evenings without screens, finding small ways to be together making, baking and creating things, and just enjoying all the things the season has to offer, like playing in the snow, are ways we stay connected.”
The reason for the season
In our secular and materialistic culture, it can be very difficult to not be overtaken with doing all the things and buying all the stuff. Katie encourages us to remember that Advent and Christmas are about relationships and being present to our family and friends.
Katie says that the most important thing to her is “to exemplify love. I just hope that my family feels loved by me, that they can know what love the Father has for them, and that we can share this love with others.”
She and her husband “stay frugal” in giving gifts for each other and immediate family, and choose instead to focus on how giving to those in need is more rewarding and fulfilling. “For the most part, our emphasis on the ‘giving’ outweighs the ‘getting,’” Katie says. “[We try to give] of our gifts, our time, our love and prayers. It allows us to exercise humility; thinking of others first. These preparations are a reflection of how we prepare for heaven and can only stand to show us what joy, love and excitement waits for us there.”
Katie Eskro is a member of Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Aberdeen, South Dakota, where she works as coordinator of Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. She has a degree in journalism and is pursuing a master’s degree in philosophy.
