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By Heidi Comes
How often have you heard that college will be the best years of your life? As a director of campus ministry and a mom of college-age young adults, I argue far too often. This simplifies a very complex time in a young adult’s life, as if all that matters at this stage in life is reckless freedom from parental authority. Some college students thrive when given independence and some struggle under that weight. If the above sentiment is true, it is a sad statement on what our lives amount to.
The more accurate statement may be that college is one of those unique times in life where what you’ve known to be your daily reality, changes. A time to make decisions for oneself, possibly for the first time in life. A time when decisions about when to rise and when to retire become personal choices, not a parent’s. Eating a balanced diet and getting exercise are no longer recommendations from a high school coach or parent, but a decision you make. Whether or not to go to class, do homework and hang out with friends all become decisions the college student makes for themselves. There is indeed excitement surrounding this new freedom. Finally, you are being treated as the mature adult you have longed to be.
Freedom and responsibility
With freedom comes responsibility; we find that out quickly in our college years. When the first grade comes back far lower than any grade in high school because perhaps you didn’t think studying was necessary, or when eating habits lead to the “freshman 15” making jeans fit tightly, or when oversleeping through a class because of video gaming late into the night, consequences become real.
All of the above are examples of temporal things. While academics, health and relationships are indeed important parts of our humanity, they pale when compared to our spiritual health. Sadly, this area often suffers the greatest harm in the college years. For the first time, your faith and the practice of it rests solely on your shoulders.
Making faith your own
In my experience with campus ministry, I have encountered young people whose parents did all the right things. They brought them to Mass, taught them about Jesus, sent them to D-Camp, and gave them a solid foundation. Some of them show up to Newman Nights as freshmen still rock solid from this foundation of faith, claiming their faith and relationship with Jesus as their own. Others appear in their sophomore or junior years of college, after experiencing freedom and its consequences and many of the temptations it has to offer, ready to seek a different way or return to what they once knew.
Navigating the college years while maintaining and growing in relationship with Christ can be challenging, but certainly not impossible. While everyone’s experience is unique, there are some steps you can take to keep your faith as a focus in the college experience.
Practical tips
Who you surround yourself with matters. It’s been said that if you hang around with three people who swear, you’ll become the fourth. The same is true for good things. If you surround yourself with people who go to Mass each week, you’ll find it much easier to keep this as part of your college experience. Find people who support your values and are positive influences; this will help you stay committed to your faith.
Simply show up. Simply showing up at Mass allows God’s grace to reach you. Jesus did not reserve his love, forgiveness, or instructions for those who were perfect. He taught people in their darkest, most vulnerable times. Waiting until you feel “holy” enough to be at Mass may mean that you never attend again. Being in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament is powerful.
Frequent confession. A visit to the Sacrament of Reconciliation can be the catalyst for growth and change. This is especially important to do when you feel distant from God, when your prayer life is suffering, or when you feel you are living outside of his plan. The longer you stay away from this sacrament, the more difficult it becomes to return. Bring your shortcomings, failures, and sins to Christ, and let his forgiveness wash you white as snow.
Find a place to be yourself. College is full of people trying to fit into crowds and groups to find a sense of belonging. The saddest thing to see is someone sacrificing who they are to be who they believe others want them to be. A Newman Center/Club is a perfect place to come as you are and find others who are comfortable being who God made them to be.
Allow yourself to struggle and grow. Don’t be discouraged if you are wrestling with traditions, teachings, or beliefs or if you find yourself asking “why” sometimes. This is a time when you are learning and growing in knowledge in many ways. The creator of your mind is also the master of your heart. It is natural to have questions about your faith. Questions lead to growth. Trust that God will bring you to where he desires you to be and that is in a deep and personal relationship with Christ. Continue seeking him in the sacraments and you will find the answers you look for.
Remember, God’s love and forgiveness are unwavering, regardless of your college missteps. The shenanigans of the college years do not rattle or scare him. And these shortcomings do not remove his great love for you. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a powerful tool for growth, allowing us to learn, grow, and strive to be better. College can indeed be a fantastic time in life, but spiritual flourishing is meant to continue throughout every stage. As St. John Paul II said, “Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure!” So embrace the journey, learning and growing in faith along the way.
