
AdobeStock_ by zilvergolf
By Lois Heron
That’s not fair! It isn’t just the exclamation from a child who lost a game anymore; it’s the catchphrase of a self-absorbed society constantly looking for justice for causes they’ve adopted as their identity. This month, we will empower ourselves as parents and grandparents by clarifying the virtue of justice, and how we can help our children learn to be just in their relationships inside and outside the home.
Let’s begin by defining the virtue of justice as St. Thomas Aquinas did: “justice is a habit that makes us capable of doing what is just, and of being just in action and in intention.” The “Catechism of the Catholic Church” expands on the definition of a just person as having the constant and firm will to give their due to God and neighbor and establish harmony in human relationships that promote equity with others (CCC 1807).
How good and how pleasant it is
when [we] dwell together in unity!
(Ps 133:1)
One of our highest goals for our home environment is harmony (another word for unity), because we learn to come together in mutual respect. Building a harmonious home goes beyond a fundamental desire to hear no quarreling or devouring of one another (Gal 5:15); it is habituating our family in equity to each other and for the common good of the family. Where do we start?
And justice for all
Love and truth will meet;
Justice and peace will kiss.
(Ps 85:11)
The entire narrative of the story of salvation is where love and truth meet, and justice and peace kiss. We can use age-appropriate Bible storybooks and then Bibles as guides for teaching the attributes God desires for us by using the “Where in the World is Waldo?” theme, looking for examples of God’s justice and man’s injustice in every story.
The parables of Christ are particularly helpful since they are short and simple but packed with moral lessons. Jesus told more than 50 parables to teach us how to live in the Kingdom of God here on earth; at least 11 parables were about justice according to God’s way of doing things.
The term “ethics” is from a Greek word that means “habits,” among other things. What we want to model for our children is a familial relationship where we delight in each other, are dear to one another, and promote each other’s welfare by serving one another; this is the foundation of justice.
When we make just treatment of each other a habit in our homes, our children learn to be just to others. When we establish a pattern of a virtuous life in our homes, our children live that pattern with those around them. Wouldn’t that be refreshing to our culture?
You have been told, O mortal, what is good,
and what the Lord requires of you:
Only to do justice and to love goodness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
(Mi 6:8)
When we, as a family, approach reality from the vantage of goodness defined as mercy, we fortify the virtue of justice in our lives. Let’s do this! Below are some ideas for you.
Teach your children to be grateful. Learning to say “thank you” trains our children in gratitude. How does that teach the virtue of justice? They are learning to be fair to others by recognizing what others do for them. A thankful heart realizes everything is a gift.
Teach your children to be respectful. Consider that they are regularly exposed to unjust behavior like bullying, interrupting people, laughing at others, or harming others. Train them to see Jesus in others through your example. Refuse to allow gossip, complaining and backbiting in your own life, and it will rub off on your children’s lives.
Model prayer as a conversation with God where we thank him for all the good graces he favors us. We learn to tell him about our frustrations about the “unfair” things in our lives, but ask him to help us treat others how we want to be treated. Make a habit of praying a daily Examen with your children; they learn to have conversations with Jesus as they review their day, and confessing to the Lord their unjust actions toward others helps build their spiritual muscle.
Prayer for Justice
Lord, I want to be a just person. You told us to love You above all else and to love our neighbor. Help me practice the virtue of justice by being patient with others and grateful for their lives. Please give me the grace to treat everyone justly and love them by being generous, respectful, honest, and kind.
~Amen.
Lois Heron is a parishioner at the Cathedral of Saint Joseph in Sioux Falls. She is a writer and retired educator.