AdobeStock_by-Syda-Productions
By Lois Heron
This month, we will consider fortitude, one of the four cardinal virtues. Prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance are the foundation of the theory of ethics; they are the hinges for us as parents and grandparents. Our goal is to build the strength of mind in our children to enable them to recognize dangers to their character and bear the pain or adversity with courage, which hinges on how strong their fortitude is.
The need for fortitude is likened to the grit to know your place on a sports team and play well for the game’s good. Chuck Colson wrote, “Remain at your posts and do your duty—for the glory of God and his kingdom.” Oh, friends, we need to hear that, don’t we?
Our children are in a skirmish with the enemy of their souls, who will do anything to distract them from the goal of being morally well-developed humans. The stakes are high and demand we remain at our posts as parents and do our duty to God and our children for the sake of life here and in eternity. Let’s consider a few virtues that hinge on fortitude and how we can help our children grow in their strength of character.
Firmness of character
Pope Benedict XVI once said, “The ways of the Lord are not comfortable. But we were not created for comfort, but for greatness.” Greatness, or magnanimity, means being great of heart. And just like the lion in “The Wizard of Oz,” it requires courage. We can train our children to have stick-to-it-ness when doing all things well for the glory of God (Col 3:23). This will teach our overachieving children to be more humble and teach our underachieving children to be more courageous.
Firmness of purpose
St. Teresa of Calcutta said, “Do small things with great love.” Fortitude enables you to stay in the fight for goodness. Diligence comes easier to some than others, so when our children struggle or give up on a small or large thing, we have a perfect circumstance to teach fortitude. The Book of Hebrews’ writer encouraged us not to grow weary in well-doing … to keep our eyes on Jesus … and to finish the race before us. Finishing doesn’t equate to winning in God’s mind. Finishing is the reward!
We can guide our children to be firm in purpose, whether with homework, good behavior, household chores, good choices or extracurricular activities. Some children may benefit from making a small to-do list that they can check off each day and experience the satisfaction of a job well done; we can gently push them to add “sacrifice” and “hard task” items.
Firmness in patience and perseverance
Our children need to learn to accept challenges graciously, without grumbling. Whining and angry outbursts show the need for fortitude. Beginning in the toddler years, when we teach our children to wait their turn calmly, we teach them patience. When we train them not to complain about inconveniences, we teach them patience. When we teach our children to pray about a desire of their heart, instead of demanding we fulfill it, we teach them patience.
Training them in patience will lay the ground for a lifetime of patiently enduring life when it doesn’t go their way; flexibility is an excellent human virtue. It’s hard to be consistent when our small children’s behaviors wear us out; persevere, dear parents!
Character studies
When the writer of the Hebrews admonished the first believers to finish the race of faith, he reminded them of a litany of Old Testament saints known for their perseverance. I paraphrase what he then said: since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run this character race with perseverance (fortitude). … looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. …
The Sacred Scriptures and history are replete with saints and sinners whose lives look much the same as ours; they are there to help us run the race of virtue. Spending time as a family learning from others who have finished well inspires our children and spurs them on. Here are a few suggestions beyond what we have already suggested for family worship times:
“Stories of the Saints: Bold and Inspiring Tales of Adventure, Grace, and Courage” by Carey Wallace and Nick Thornborrow.
“A Saint a Day: A 365-Day Devotional Featuring Christian Saints” by Meredith Hinds and Isabel Muñoz is appropriate for all ages.
Train the young in the way they should go;
Even when they are old, they will not swerve from it.
~Prv 22:5-6
Nm 6:24-26
