Photo by LilPerspective Photography
By Heidi Comes
Sometimes when I hear the expression “unplanned pregnancy,” I wonder how many pregnancies are “planned?”
I get it, this phrase usually means that pregnancy happens to an unwed mother or through more traumatic circumstances. But in reality, many of us in sacramental marriages did not “plan” each of our pregnancies. When my husband and I sat in Mass with five children under 9, I promise you that people questioned our planning.
Pregnancy isn’t about planning. It’s about openness—openness to life, openness to God’s plan. And when things don’t go exactly as expected, relying on his grace to see us through.
My husband and I are the proud grandparents of an unplanned pregnancy. Like many in our shoes, we had plans and dreams for our children that didn’t involve a baby outside of marriage. We foolishly hoped that our many words of wisdom and instruction would be exactly what each of our kids needed to make all the right decisions. But with each curveball thrown our way in parenting, we realized over and over again that our children’s choices and decisions were theirs to make, and we could either panic or pray.
Over our 24 years of parenting, we’ve done plenty of both.
Our five children have done many things to make us proud to be their parents. They’ve also done things we had hoped they would not. In the end, it isn’t about any of that. It’s about allowing God’s grace to sustain us and make something beautiful out of it all.
Our granddaughter may not have been “planned,” but she was fearfully and wonderfully made in the image and likeness of her heavenly Father. She is one of the greatest blessings we’ve ever met. And she is here because her mama had the courage to choose life.
She chose life despite knowing it would be the hardest journey of her young life.
She chose life despite the heartache and fear that surrounded her heart.
She chose life despite the culture telling her there was an easier way out.
God has made something beautiful out of the struggle, and he isn’t finished yet.
Heidi Comes is a freelance writer for The Bishop’s Bulletin, the director of campus ministry for Dakota State University and the high school youth coordinator for St. Thomas Aquinas Parish in Madison. She is a wife of 25 years and mother of five.
