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The Family is “the primary and most excellent seed-bed of vocations to a life of consecration to the Kingdom of God.” – St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio.
Parents are the primary vocation directors for their children. Parents have the great gift and the great responsibility of helping their children to hear the voice of God, to discover the path the Lord is leading them, and to courageously follow him in discipleship.
What is discernment?
Discernment is the process of becoming aware of God’s call for one’s life. It includes coming to know the voice of God in one’s life, hearing the invitation to follow him in a particular form of life, and courageously embracing that call.
Why is discernment important?
Discernment of your child’s vocation is ultimately about coming to discover God’s will for their life. God desires a loving union with your child, and the path to that loving union is their vocation. This vocation will bring about their ultimate happiness for it will bring them to union with God.
What is a vocation?
A vocation is God’s particular calling for a young man or young woman. It comes from the Latin word vocare, which just means “to call.” Typically, when the Church speaks about vocations, it is to the priesthood (for men) or consecrated life (for men and women).
How do I help my children discover God’s call for their life?
- Pray daily for your child.
- Help them to encounter Christ.
- Share with them your own testimony and why you follow Jesus.
- Ask open ended questions like, “Where do you think Jesus is leading you?” or “Have you ever considered priesthood or religious life?”
- Encourage the sacramental life such as daily Mass, adoration and monthly confessions.
- Help them to find ways they can go deeper in their faith through retreats, service and mission trips.
- Connect them with your local parish priest.
What shouldn’t I do in speaking with my child about vocations?
- Don’t pressure your child into one particular vocation.
- Don’t joke or make comments that minimize their interest.
- Don’t make it about family expectations or compare siblings.
- Don’t keep it only “in the head.” Encourage them to reach out to mentors or go on seminary visits
What if I’m scared about God calling my son or daughter to priesthood or religious life?
- Bring that fear to prayer and offer it to Jesus. Let him speak into that fear.
- Speak with your local parish priest about your fear.
- Know that discernment takes time for both you and your child.
- Trust that God, who has walked with parents throughout the centuries with that same fear, is now walking with you.
What are some vocations events for my son/daughter?
Throughout the year, we offer vocations camps, discernment opportunities and dinners with priests/religious. Check out our events page or contact the vocations office at 605-988-3772 for more information.
My daughter is thinking about religious life. What are the next steps?
- First, have your daughter reach out to the local parish priest to get insights on religious communities in your area.
- Second, have your daughter reach out to religious communities to see if there are any upcoming discernment opportunities.
- Third, if your daughter would like to apply to a religious community, have your daughter contact the vocations director of that community.
My son is thinking about seminary. What are the next steps?
- First, have your son reach out to your local parish priest to talk about the priesthood.
- Second, contact the vocations office to speak with the vocations advocate.
- Third, have your son come on a seminary visit.
Who should I reach out to if I have questions?
Please contact the vocations office at 605-988-3772 for more information.
What are some great resources on vocations for parents?
- Vianney Vocations (parent tools): https://vianneyvocations.com
- Religious communities directory: https://www.religiouslife.com
- Diocesan priesthood: https://diocesanpriest.com/
- USCCB tools for parents – https://www.usccb.org/committees/clergy-consecrated-life-vocations/tools-parents
- “A Priest in the Family: A Guide for Parents Whose Sons Are Considering Priesthood” by Fr. Brett Brannen